Pain-Free Weight Loss Plan

So, you know what’s really fun? Waking up then opening your mouth to speak, except only silence comes out. I tossed my covers aside and hopped out of bed, heading straight for a hot cup of tea this morning.

cup of tea

Did you really expect me to stay mute for the entire day? I didn’t think so. I like to run my mouth from the minute I wake up to the minute I go to sleep. Heck, sometimes I even like to chat in my sleep. Well, more like I’ll return phone calls in the middle of the night since I always seem to have missed calls. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I go to sleep at an abnormal hour for a 20-year-old?

I digress. Between a congested head and a soundless voice box, a workout was just not happening this morning. I grabbed the newest J.Crew catalogue and the October issue of InStyle magazine and stationed myself on the sofa.

jcrew and instyle

This was actually a ploy to avoid eating this morning. I’m trying to lose ten pounds and skipping meals is the best way to do so. KIDDING. That is by far the worst way to lose weight! I’ll stop being so sarcastic now.

The roof of my mouth is swollen and slightly scraped, hindering my ability to painlessly shovel food into my mouth. All I wanted to eat this morning was an English muffin with peanut butter. I had the brilliant idea to toast it and then even top it with banana slices. Great idea for someone who can barely eat applesauce without wincing, right?

pb banana em

Thirty minutes later, I pledged to never eat food again. Or at least until I can eat a meal without cursing. I should have just stuck with my weight loss plan. Baring teeth smile

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