Tuesday flew by before I even realized it—I need a minimum of five extra hours per day to get everything accomplished. Truth be told, I spent a large portion of the day simply stressing out. When your planner is covered with post-it notes, you’re bound to get overwhelmed by the never ending to-do list.
I couldn’t figure out how to coordinate everything and it seemed like more was piled on by the minute! I was also planning on heading down to my beach house, but didn’t want to leave town knowing that there were dishes to wash, laundry to fold, and a bunch of other odds and ends to do. Not to mention that I had to squeeze in a follow-up hair appointment and actually pack for the beach.
For some extra time, I skipped my regular workout and just ran a quick mile on the treadmill. When it was 5pm and I still hadn’t crossed off my entire to-do list (I originally planned to leave at 11am—so much for that), I accepted that I probably wouldn’t be making it to the beach after all. Then I remembered that I wouldn’t be able to make a certain stop if I left early the next morning (more on that later). After haphazardly throwing any items of clothing that I could find into a bag and packing a cooler full of my favorite foods, I hit the road.
Well, sort of. Before I could really be on my way, I had a short meeting at a high-end consignment shop that is opening on Thursday in the Baltimore area. After my meeting, I was driving for a solid 10 minutes before I had to pull over to the side of the highway. I had set my cooler and purse on the passenger seat in my car and the seat-belt alarm was incessantly dinging. How obnoxious. So yes, I had to carry my cooler to the trunk as cars whizzed by me. I was just thankful that no one pulled over to see if I needed assistance. Now that would have been embarrassing.
Once I made it over the Bay Bridge, I was in a serious rush to get to Queenstown, aka the location of the best pit stop ever. Outlets on the way to the beach? I couldn’t help myself; I just HAD to shop. Plus, it’s tax-free week in Maryland. It would have been silly of me to not stop! If I left early this morning, I would have passed the outlets before they opened, so I planned it accordingly.
I had a limited amount of time so I had to strategize. A dress caught my eye in BCBG’s display window, but unfortunately, the dress was far too big. I did make a purchase though; I picked up a funky necklace and an adorable ring. BCBG was all out of tissue paper and small bags, so I ended up having to carry around a basically empty shopping bag.
Of course, the most important stop of all was J.Crew. From the moment I entered the store, I was in heaven. The racks were already dotted with beautiful fall clothing. I resisted buying a wool coat, but did get a great skirt and a few lightweight sweaters. I popped into a few other stores, as well as Michael Kors, hoping to see a sales associate that I know, but she wasn’t working last night.
After about 40 minutes of some speed-shopping, I was back on the road and ready to drive without any more stops. Then I remembered that my sister had mentioned that our blender at the beach was broken. Seeing as I love my smoothies, I couldn’t exactly be blender-less. Knowing that I wouldn’t be able to buy a replacement at the beach, I resorted to my last option: Walmart in Cambridge.
Who the hell goes blender shopping at Walmart at 10 o’clock at night in a creepy town?! Apparently I do. While I was there, I figured I would also get some cake decorating pieces. And that’s when the weirdo rounded the corner. I was trying to inspect different piping tips when a man walked down an intersecting aisle and said hello. That’s totally fine, but then he came back two seconds later and attempted to have a conversation with me. This is how it went:
Weirdo: Do you come here often?
Creeped-out Colleen: Uhhh, no…not really. It’s Walmart, not a hangout. Why would I be here often??
Weirdo: Oh, you must not be from around here. You sure don’t look like you’re from around here.
Creeped-out Colleen: Haha uhh…yeah I’m not from around here. Thank God. This place is full of people with missing teeth and bad highlights.
Weirdo: Where are you from?
Creeped-out Colleen: The Baltimore area.
Weirdo: Yeah? I’ve been to Baltimore once before.
Creeped-out Colleen: Oh, that’s…nice. Baltimore is two hours away. It’s not Timbuktu.
Weirdo: You look like you’ve been to the beach. Your legs are real tan.
Creeped-out Colleen: Ha…uhhh. Okay, leave me alone now. I’m trying to figure out what color icing I want.
Then he walked away and came back yet again, two seconds later.
Weirdo: [Laughing like a hyena] I forgot my money in my truck.
Creeped-out Colleen: Oh [nervous laughing]. What the heck are you even trying to buy? You don’t have anything in your hands.
Weirdo: You’re real purrrrdy.
Creeped-out Colleen: Uhhh thanks. Okay, gotta go! Have a nice night! EW! Get away from me!
Lesson learned. Do not go shopping for a blender at 10pm. Especially not in Walmart. And especially not in a random town. Not to worry, I triple-checked that he wasn’t waiting for me by my car and I did eventually make it to my beach house [safely]. My mom wasn’t expecting to see me, so we stayed up late watching television and catching up.
Now it’s time to put on a bathing suit and walk down to the ocean!
Ever have any creeper encounters in Walmart (or anywhere else)?